A Hundred Days Of This - Day 24

 So after that amazing movie messed up with my head I had to take it slow today. Was quite a chill Sunday with no chores to do and I gave myself permission to laze around and doomscroll a bit. I found a lot of reels on the Padiayappa re-release in Tamil Nadu and the Telugu fans are feeling bad that there is no Narasimha re-release. Boss, if you ask me or any other 90s kid who grew up in a Telugu household where watching TV is a huge thing for that family, the only way to enjoy watching Narasimha is when it is playing on Gemini TV or Gemini Movies exactly during lunchtime. Most of my Sundays were spent eating my mother's vankaaya ullikaaram pettina koora while grooving to ekku tholi mettu, kottu kondanu dhee kottu. I would not miss it for the world. Even if I had an assignment deadline to meet or an exam on Monday, nothing could make me miss that movie on a Sunday.

I really miss going to the theatres, especially the FDFS in a single screen. I was probably 21/22 years old when I first went to the theatre to watch a movie alone. People are divided on this topic, hear me out, once you start doing these things alone, going out, watching movies, eating a meal, traveling or absolutely anything, a switch flips in your personality and you will not regret it. I have always been a 'I need people around in my life' girl and my confidence doubled once I started enjoying my own company. I am aware that my thoughts cannot be all that boring. Sure, it is great to seek help from others when in need, but hey, have you ever experienced the joy of doing it yourself? Oh, that dopamine rush!

Today, my husband said, and I quote - "Not every time you need a purpose to go out of the house" And the monkey took herself out on a date. Explored the closed stores on a Sunday evening and checked out all the menus of the restaurants in Centrum. Finally settled at a Vietnamese eatery and ordered Bun Chay. I loved the texture play and the simplicity of the dish. Halfway through my meal, I wished my husband or my cousin or a friend were here. I did enjoy the food, but in that brief moment I was craving for company. Like Charles Bukowski questioned, “When nobody wakes you up in the morning, and when nobody waits for you at night, and when you can do whatever you want. What do you call it — freedom or loneliness?". The thin line separating them both can get quite blurry if you are living away from home, especially in another country. It only makes sense when you realise your life is yours, nobody else is going to live it for you and your entertainment. To be able to count on yourself first is in itself a big win. Try it out and see. Pehle istemaal karein, phir vishwaas karein.

Before I go to bed tonight, here is one of my favourite poems I came across when I first left my home at the age of 25.

All you who sleep tonight
Far from the ones you love,
No hands to left or right,
And emptiness above –
Know that you aren’t alone.
The whole world shares your tears,
Some for two nights or one,
And some for all their years. 

~ Vikram Seth, 1992.