A Hundred Days Of This - Day 19

What a crazy day it has been! I had an exam in Portfolio Choice Theory course today and after  submitting my exam I got to see the score -  71/100 which was not exactly what I was aiming for. Yes, I admit I could have worked even harder than I did but I knew my exam did not go that bad. It was really disappointing and I could not talk to my mother properly when I got back home. As a punishment, I made Upma for dinner and settled down with plans to cheer myself up.

Slowly that sadness was creeping up, almost making me give up on writing this post too. Just 20 minutes ago one of my classmates called me up all excited and happy, asking me to check the student forum. What do we have there? A long paragraph on how our exam was very demanding and the scheme of rescaling the grades based on our answers. Guess what?! Your girl has scored an A grade. Does not feel entirely like a win because we grew up being severely harsh on ourselves, typical "aa rendu markulu em ayyaayi" upbringing. 

This morning before appearing for the exam I was nervous, it felt like I knew everything but cannot recollect anything. Does it ring a bell? I had to shake myself up and keep repeating that I am coming back home with an A. Not mere wishful thinking or hoping and praying to God "please help me get an A grade". Honest and feel it in your bones affirmations that I kept saying out loud - I am getting 98%, I got a 98% score. I am going to celebrate it with my friend later when I meet them, that sort of a thing like Abhishek Sharma did it for SRH. I walked into the exam hall knowing that I have a brain and an ability to put it to use. Only to see that score and go back feeling dejected.

Call it luck or coincidence or manifestation or whatever that you will but when you push yourself even 1% every single day, it does not go to waste. Because like our James (Clear) babai said, there is an amazing power to tiny gains. 1.01^365=37.78 and 0.99^365=0.03. As a finance student if there is one thing I am pretty sure about, it is that numbers do not lie. Good job, Soumya, and thank you universe!
 
I wrote these lines on the formula sheet just minutes before giving the exam and am going to keep it with me forever as a testament to my madness. Is being delulu truly the solulu?

And that's Day 19 for you!

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