Carpe diem

After imploring my mother to watch Dhurandhar several times she said something that triggered a train thought that I cannot seem to shake off now. She said she does not feel like watching movies anymore. I felt the same way since the past week. There a lot of new releases on the OTT platforms but I just cannot bring myself to watch anything. Is this a sign from the brain that long format content is tiring to sit through? That is pretty scary. I am not able to read a book for more than 30 minutes too. Please do not tell me that is the effect of doomscrolling and instant dopamine binging. Earlier I used to finish watch an entire season of Bones or Dexter over the weekend but now I am not able to watch 2nd episode of Demon Slayer without picking up my phone to see what is new on Instagram. Oh boy, it feels like I am living through one of those Black Mirror tales now. Is it all happening inside my head or do you feel the same too? If so, how do we battle this?  The other day I heard so...

I have nothing to write today. Not even silly lists. And I do not want to push my brain today. It is okay, I guess. Just ran out of ideas maybe. But a few lines made me realise words do have a great ability to change your mood. It goes like this... Ishq ka tu haraf Jiske chaaron taraf Meri baahon ke ghere ka Bane haashiyaan Take my heart, Irshad Kamil. And that's Day 69 for you!

My best friend and I may have started something exciting. https://www.instagram.com/adhyaaya26?igsh=dnRmbDU1NGg3c3Jj Go check it out and support us. And that's Day 68 for you!

The sun was out today! Phew! I cannot remember the last time I saw the sunlight streaming through the clouds and hitting my face. Oh, it was such a joy!  All these years whenever Ratha Sapthami was celebrated at home, I never really paid much attention to it. Even when I learnt the Aditya Hrudyam formally from an acquaintance who very kindly accepted to teach it to me, I did not completely appreciate the hymn. Now here in Sweden the Sun disappears for days altogether and then it hit me like a brick. Winter blues are for real. Mental health is not a joke. See, I am not Batman and yes, being in the dark feels cosy. But please do not fool yourself by equating staying at home in the dark to comfort. What seems like the easiest thing to do slowly sucks away your life. Get your blood checked for Vitamin D levels, if you do not buy this. And it is a vicious cycle, your physical health takes the hit because your mental health is not great; you are feeling low because there is something wro...

 How about another list? Of the essays and papers that I thought were interesting to read? Honestly, the last time I read an essay was while preparing for UPSC. And that is almost a decade ago now. Time to slide away from the doomscrolling, I guess then. 1. https://aeon.co/essays/sure-ai-can-do-writing-but-memoir-not-so-much 2. https://www.harnidh.xyz/p/why-do-women-making-money-piss-us 3. https://share.google/b4QeymULb1rLq97Tc   This of course is a non exhaustive list and I will keep adding things to it. Stick around to see some more of these or you could send me some sources as well.  And that's Day 66 for you! 

"The biggest damage to valuation comes from how analysts and investors react to uncertainty, not its presence. Instead of facing up to uncertainty and using the statistical, financial and probabilistic tools that we can use to deal with it in a healthy fashion, the more common responses seem to be denial i.e., acting as if uncertainty does not exist, or paralysis, where you stop valuing companies during crises, or if the companies are young start-ups, with the excuse that valuation is pointless in the face of uncertainty. We believe that the payoff to doing valuation is greatest when times are darkest, and when uncertainty looms, since even an imprecise valuation is better than not doing valuation at all!" - Ashwath Damodaran, Investment Valuation, 4e, pg no 41-42 This is not about valuation. Think harder. And that's Day 65 for you! 

Did I ever tell you that I live right next to a castle here in Sweden? Seems like a scene straight out of a fantasy novel, right? And that's Day 64 for you!

Shitty camera but an amazing experience! And that's Day 63 for you!

Is it just me or do you also feel subconsciously that you need to master all the required skills and be on top of the game on Day 3 of starting something new? There is a long list of things that I have begun only to leave it the middle and run crying "this is not happening" even before I totally understood what I got into. Recently I fancied on trying my hand at crocheting and bought a kit too. Here is a fun fact: I have never crocheted ever in my life. And the difficulty level of that kit is intermediate. Where do I run now? It sure is fun to dabble in a lot of interests but sometimes not being able to finish up all the supplies for something useful hurts my pocket and makes me question why am I like this?! When will this vicious cycle end? Oh and by the way, a pack of oil pastels are on their way. Did I ever use that medium before? You know the answer. Someone please tell me that making shitty art is okay, failing sometimes is okay. *runs away* And that's Day 62 for you...

Used up my limited brain juice on thinking about an anniversary gift.  And that's Day 61 for you!

The day that was... ... Absolutely amazing! Buying/getting flowers was actually on my vision board too this year. Little things that put a wide and nice smile on my face. I also got the result on my last exam. Totally deserved it. And that was Day 60 for you!

I open Instagram or X and have to close it immediately because of all the posts about the Northern Lights. Rameshwaram vacchina Saneshwaram thappaledhu mari. It is foggy and super Cloudy (without the chance of sighting the Lights) where I live andthat makes me incredibly frustrated and sad.  Today I realised why people hate filling up forms after I had to sit and fill one for my visa. Adult life and paperwork are things I cannot run away from nor make them interesting no matter how much I try. Ugh! Anyway, I saw more reels on the Japanese yoghurt + biscuits cheesecake hack. Should I try it? Maybe? Let us see. I still have some of that Raspberry jam leftover. Oh, I can make a PB&J sandwich! Time to source some great bread tomorrow then.  And that's Day 59 for you!

Looks sadder than my jada but tasted yum! Wish I joined a pastry school instead. Maybe someday I will. Never say never, Soumya. Life is for learning how to bake your way into happiness, eller hur?  Also, meet Mr. Robert Plantsson. A gift for myself because I did well in exams. And that's Day 58 for you!

Lazy Sunday that was whiled away in sleeping and making a raspberry chia seed jam. And that's Day 57 for you!

 Today I am at peace. It is a rare feeling that I get to experience, but I know it is quite familiar. I have done enough, worked hard enough, and prepared myself well enough to take the exam. Not bothered about the grade or the marks. At this point, I am more bothered about the narrative that is fed to my brain and the dopamine that hits me when I truly understand a concept. That feeling is unmatched! After practising the questions for weeks now and figuring out why it is the way it is, studying Finance is probably one of the best decisions I have ever made because I am still figuring out logic in the exam hall with a pen in hand and eyes going back and forth between the cells on Excel. No matter how times I cry about Maths not leaving my life, the moment things click and I get to solve equations (with a lot of mistakes, of course), arriving at the answers definitely puts a smile on my face. Absolute bliss! Today I wrote this on my formula sheet. Hope there is more to this learning...

Please pray that I pass the exam. Kthnxbye. And that's Day 55 for you!

I watched People We Meet On Vacation last night and it was 'cute'. This is probably the 2nd time I am watching something without reading the book it is based on first. One of my reading goals for 2026 happens to be reading a genre that is out of my comfort zone, aka romance. Let us see how that goes. Time to dig up more lists? Oh boy, how I miss going to bookstores and libraries to browse the titles there. Maybe I will take a library card soon. Hmmm. Got to plan for that soon.  Happy Sankranti folks! And that's Day 54 for you!

I know I missed a day.  Because I passed out. I had a crazy, crazy day yesterday, and boy, it is the kind of story that has to go on this blog. I had my Corporate Finance exam yesterday, and thanks to the holiday mode, I did not prepare as well as I would have otherwise done. All along the holidays, I kept telling my husband that I did not want to write the exam at all, (because for me, not attempting seems like a way better option than failing) wishing that there would be a really bad snowstorm across Sweden and everything comes to a halt because it did get pretty bad in here. Borderline psychotic. And the other day, the husband got an email from his university saying that all the exams scheduled for that day would be held without interruption. When I was in school, they would declare a holiday if it rained heavily.  Days before the exam I hit the nitro mode and studied all day, all night. Had to give up on my precious sleep too. Had to because my visa processing depended on ...

Jitters. Jittery jitters. Lots of jitters. Have an exam tomorrow.  Hope I pass. Please pray for me. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! And that's Day 52 for you!

Born to go zoom zoom on a snow sled but currently sliding between ten different Excel sheets. Not complaining though! But brain is fried and the eyes are drooping.  Go and play outdoors, kids. And that's Day 51 for you!

50 already! Reached the half mile and I did not even realise. Guess this is how it feels like when you do the things you absolutely love. I am not sure how many are reading these random posts everyday. I know my mother is definitely reading. (Hi, Amma!) Anyway, I stopped checking for the number of views long long ago. This is not about how many are reading and how brilliantly I am writing. It is a small challenge that I took up to slowly build a habit of showing up for myself and trusting the decisions that I take. Small wins, you see. It is a pretty big deal for me, especially as a serial procrastinator and a monkey who cannot sit still. Pat on your back for coming till here, Soumya. Also, this reel has been on my mind for a couple hours now and it did make me think hard.  https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTSxCDogf6n/?igsh=MWJwajBlMGxwZmlwbA== I need to sleep now. See you through the other half mile then. And that's Day 50 for you!

Biryani_ICVGIP2025_main.pdf https://share.google/dtfm9xyfqpbUF99XC I swear to God, these are the kind of papers I would like to read for my course work.  And that's Day 49 for you!

With the orange alert and a snow storm that over Göteborg in the past couple of days, there was so much snow around our apartment! The neighborhood turned into a winter wonderland and everything looked so pretty (and freezing!) For the first ever in my life, I even built a snowman! Making snow angels and free falling into heaps of snow as a girl hailing from regions in tropical India too counts as a win, right? And that's Day 48 for you!

We did not come all the way to Sweden just to sit at home while it snows now, did we? And that's Day 47 for you!

His way of saying bye. Pretty much like one of the pictures on my vision board. I guess manifestation does work after all. And that's Day 46 for you!

Today the husband showed me around his university and the labs he is working at. Science-y and all. Happened to pocket 2 tiny little boats that were 3D printed.  Winters in Sweden are great and pretty scenic when you are sitting inside the house sipping hot chai. And that's Day 46 for you!

Kind of busy narrating the raju gaaru, onte katha to my husband and slowly occupying his side of the bed. BRB. Also learned how to make these flavourful Enoki mushroom fritters. That Air Fryer better be delivered quickly to our home now. And that's Day 45 for you!

Things to do in 2026 1. Try oil pastels. 2. Bake a Danish pastry 3. Build a snowman. 4. Solve 100 crossword puzzles. 5. A double digit streak on Wordle. 6. Try 6 different tea flavours. 7. Read a Swedish storybook. 8. Pet 12 dogs. 9. Do not break the Duolingo streak. 10. Maintain a junk journal. 11. Build a time capsule. 12. Collect 6 postcards. The list goes on. And that's Day 44 for you!

Today I wanted to talk about the concept of dwiteeya vighnam. As far as my understanding goes, it is the term used when you give up on the second day of taking up a task.  How do I finish my 10k steps if the temperature is at -6° C and the real feel is -12° C?! I miss the winters in Eluru now when the fan speed would still be at the maximum level and slept through the night like a baby without knowing what cold felt like. The views from my balcony here in Sweden are absolutely worth it though! Anyway, do come back here tomorrow for an eggless blonde recipe. Or maybe to see if I did hit my step goal. And that's Day 43 for you!

First day of 2026 and for the first time I walked down my street while it was snowing. It was freezing cold but boy, was it amazing! Hopefully I get to build a snowman soon.  For this year, I decided to take it one day at a time and let go of all the things that mess with my mental peace. Yeah, like that is definitely going to happen. Still worth giving it a shot, right? One thing that I am going to do for sure is dividing both my tasks and feelings into the smallest chunks possible and try to sit down with uncomfortableness. Does not sound fancy, I know. Well, if not now then when?  Even when I was walking through the slush on the pavement post dinner I kept repeating under my breath - "one step after another" That is all it takes to get to my home that is uphill or even I little hike that my husband is planning to take me along with him. One tiny step after another, one small task after another, one sentence after another, one paragraph after another and page after another....