A Hundred Days Of This - Day 95

Today is the lunar eclipse and I came across something that was interesting. Well, you may not agree with it, in a lot of cultures and traditions, an eclipse is symbol of change. And I felt that today. Could be confirmation bias too, but hey, it was interesting in my head. This is more like a dear diary thing for me.

Sweden is not for the light hearted and I am slowly getting accustomed here. In 30 years of my life I have never been truly all by myself for this long. I have always had friends and family around me and that shaped my personality to a major extent. Being alone is not the problem here but feeling lonely is and I was absolutely confident that I can happily deal with it. Boy, was I wrong!

There is this notion that you cannot expect your partner to be the one fulfilling all your needs. I have read about it so many times and today I understood what it meant practising that. Running back home every time I feel home sick felt like putting a bandage over a fracture. Building a social circle, having hobbies, and something to do to fill up the soul is also a solution at times. Ever heard of "cannot pour from an empty cup"?

It was not easy to calm my faster than an F1 car mind and thoughts of being stuck in a place that is cold and harsh. It is only a phase, the one that is humbling me the most, honestly. And I needed this. To change.

P.S. My name is closely connected to the moon, like an offspring of Soma.

P.P.S. This is the view from my flat today, which I called a 'cage' yesterday. I am sorry, flat, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

 

And that's Day 95 for you!